


In a Heartbeat

by BardicRaven



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Episode: S1E4 Going Rogue, Episode: s03e09 The Climb, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied Sexual Content, Moving On, Post Episode: s03e09 The Climb, Promises, Team Arrow, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2849798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Barry keeps the promise he made to Felicity on a train a lifetime ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In a Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kikibug13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikibug13/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds - Hell Hath No Fury](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2781941) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds II – Of Love and Loss and other Confusions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2786987) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds III – Phoenix from the Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2787047) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds III.5 – Interlude in the Underworld](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2794199) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds IV – Reunion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2794268) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Widow's Weeds V – The Power of Love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799584) by [BardicRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardicRaven/pseuds/BardicRaven). 
  * Inspired by [Broken](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2757017) by [pumpkinonwheels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinonwheels/pseuds/pumpkinonwheels). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ##### Barry keeps the promise he made to Felicity on a train so long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _“If you EVER need anything, I will race over in a heartbeat.”_
> 
> ##### S1E4 - The Flash - Going Rogue

***********

Barry ran over to Felicity's apartment as soon as he heard the news.

Literally.

The fact that her apartment was six hundred miles from where he lived wasn't relevant.

The fact that he'd made her a promise was.

He slipped inside her building, made his way up to the second floor, her apartment.

Heard the muffled crying as he knocked on her door.

Waited endless minutes for her to answer. Was afraid she wouldn't.

“Felicity? It's me, Barry.”

That got the door opened. Felicity was dressed all in black, red-eyed from crying.

“This isn't really a good time, Barry.”

“Felicity, I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“Who told you?” Her voice was hard underneath the tears.

He looked at her with that mix of patience and exasperation she remembered so well. “Felicity, he was my friend too.”

That got him in the door.

“I don't know what I can offer you.” Felicity said, wandering restlessly around her living room. “I haven't gone to the store since...”

“That's fine. I didn't come here to be entertained. I came for you.” He sat on the couch, patted the cushion beside him. She joined him, but at the far end of the couch, as if she didn't trust herself any closer.

“Why?”

“Because I made you a promise. When you first came to Central City, I promised you that if you ever needed me, I'd race over in a heartbeat. Well, I'm here.”

“How did you know?”

“I told you – he was my friend too.” He looked away. “How... how did it happen?”

“Duel. League of Assassins. For...” she visibly stopped herself.

“For what?”

She shook her head. “It doesn't matter now.”

He accepted that. “What can I do to help?”

“Look, Barry, it was sweet of you to come, but... there's nothing you can do. There's nothing I can do. He's gone and he's never coming back. End of story.”

“I don't believe that.”

“You don't want to believe that.” she snapped. “Doesn't change what's real.”

“Maybe. But I believe that believing _does_ change what's real.”

“Your father's still in prison.”

“Not forever.”

Felicity sighed. “I can't believe that way, Barry. If I don't accept that Oliver's dead and move on....”

“Don't turn into him, Felicity.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don't turn into Oliver, Felicity. Build walls. Shut everybody out.”

“Barry. That's what I need to do to survive.”

“But is that all you want to do? Survive?” He turned worried eyes on Felicity. “What happened to living?”

“He died,” she said simply. “Oliver Queen died.”

And then the tears came. Barry scooted over, pulled her into his arms. She came to him, unresisting, allowing herself the comfort of touch, if only for a moment.

And then it was something more. Felicity turned in his arms, started kissing him, hard and hungry, demanding solace, demanding release.

It wasn't love they made that night. No, it was too full of anger and tears for that. But it was relief and release and memorial and memory, and that was enough.

Plenty of time for regrets later.

For now it was a promise kept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### This ended up being a companion to my series 'Widow's Weeds.' This part takes place during Part I - Hell Hath No Fury.
> 
> ##### -B!


	2. In a Heartbeat - All the Mornings After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ##### Barry turned to her and said. “I'm here for as long as you need me.”

In the morning when they woke, Barry turned to her and said. “I'm here for as long as you need me.”

Empty eyes met his, slid away unseeing.

He refused to let that bother him, although it stiffened his resolve to stay until Felicity re-found some small measure of joy in her world.

He borrowed Felicity's phone to call back to the lab. His conversation with Dr Wells was short and to the point.

“I'm staying. Felicity needs me and Oliver... was my friend.”

Dr Wells made all the right protesting noises, but without much conviction. Barry suspected he knew all along that he wouldn't win.

That night, Barry followed Felicity to the lair in the deepest part of the night. No-one else was around – even the club's patrons had finally given in to the need, if not the desire, to go home for another night.

“What are you doing?” Barry asked as Felicity settled into her chair, powered up the system. “No-one's here. No-one's coming.”

“Doesn't matter,” she replied, typing in a search sequence, setting it free to prowl the Internet.

“What are you doing?” he asked again, concerned that losing Oliver had finally made Felicity snap.

“Justice.” She threw the word over her shoulder as she scanned the endlessly scrolling list of names and numbers. “I'm delivering justice.”

“Felicity?”

She shook her head. “It's better if you don't know.”

“Oh, like _that's_ going to make me feel better.”

“Money makes the world go 'round. Starve a body and it _dies_.” The savage glee in her voice scared him to his core, made him glad that he'd chosen to stay with her. He didn't know this Felicity.

Wasn't sure he wanted to.

She sounded a lot like Oliver, in those moments when he was deep in blood-lust.

Barry settled in to wait her out, wait until she came back to him, to what was left of Team Arrow. The fastest man in the world waited, still and silent, through the lonely hours of the night, as names and numbers scrolled endlessly past on a computer-screen, and Felicity Smoak proved the truth of the saying that hell hath no fury like a woman (and hacker) scorned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### This story is a companion piece to my series 'Widow's Weeds'. This chapter takes place during Part I - Hell Hath No Fury.
> 
> ##### -B!


	3. Oliver Queen is Dead, Team Arrow Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ##### Felicity finds a mission and a reason to go on living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _She cajoled. She argued. And finally, she stood there and ordered._
> 
> ##### Widow's Weeds III - Phoenix from the Ashes - BardicRaven

As Felicity opened her front door a few nights later she found Barry on her doorstep once again, this time armed with coffee and bagels, bringing new definition to the phrase 'coffee run'. He stepped back reflexively as she went barrelling past.

“Come on,” she said brusquely, unsurprised to find him there. After all, it wasn't like he hadn't been crashing on her floor for a couple of weeks now. “We can use your help.”

“We?”

“Oliver may be dead,” she said by way of explanation, “but Team Arrow doesn't have to be. Now come on.” She was practically vibrating with impatience.

Barry came. If nothing else, it was good to see light and life back in Felicity's eyes, even if he were not entirely sure that he wanted to know the particulars of why or how.

They arrived at the foundry to find Diggle and Roy already there.

“What's this all about, Felicity?” Diggle asked.

“We're not finished. We still have work to do.”

“Felicity,” Diggle said tiredly. “Oliver's gone. You need to accept that.”

“No,” she replied, although whether she was responding to the need for acceptance of Oliver's death or the denial of her initial statement, was left unsaid.

“Felicity....”

“Diggle, Oliver's mission isn't done. We can help with that.” _In his memory._

At his quiet head-shake, she turned to Roy. “Roy, don't you see it?”

“No, Felicity, I don't. We're not enough without Oliver. There's no way....” Roy replied.

She just stared at them for a long moment as if she couldn't believe what her eyes were telling her. Finally, her eyes hardened, and she stared them down, just like she used to do with Oliver.

"I'm doing this.” she said, slowly, firmly, leaving no doubt in their minds that she meant every word. “With or without you. You in? Or not?" In that moment, Felicity Smoak looked truly magnificent.

There was no thought as to his answer. "I'm in.” Barry said, challenging Diggle and Roy with his body language, his unflinching stare, to join him in backing her.

Diggle was next. He looked at the two of them for a long moment, weighing his thoughts, his options.

"I think you're lunatics. But I'm in."

Roy followed, clearly uncomfortable. He gave Felicity a short nod and that was all.

But that was enough.

“Thank you. Now, I know I'm not Oliver and I don't have his knowledge. So I'll need your help to pull this off,” she said as she sat and powered up her computers.

“Diggle – I'll need your help on targets. Who and when.” He nodded.

“Roy – I'll need your help on anything archery-related.” His nod was stiff, but there.

“Barry... I'll need your help to keep me grounded. And to help Diggle and Roy take out the bad guys.” she added, almost as an afterthought.

“Anything you need, Felicity. You know that.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. She flinched, just a little, but reached for his hand when he made to move it away. She turned around.

“Thank you.” And for the first time since he'd come to her, Bary Allen saw the light rekindle in Felicity Smoak's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### This chapter takes place just after 'Widow's Weeds II - Of Love and Loss and Other Confusions' and then goes forth into the events of 'Widow's Weeds III - Phoenix from the Ashes'.
> 
> ##### -B!


	4. What Do We Do with a Woman Like Our Thea?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #####  _“Thank you,” Thea said abruptly. At the frosty inquiry that filled the air, she clarified. “For... for caring about my brother. When I couldn't.”_

Felicity didn't go after Thea once she'd learned Oliver was dead. She wanted to, wanted to hurt Thea the way she'd been hurt, show her how much her betrayal of them mattered, but she didn't.

Partly it was respect for Oliver's memory. Partly because she didn't have the energy to fight her.

Those were also the reasons why she hadn't said any of the things she'd longed to say.

Things like...

_Your brother DIED to save your lying, murdering ass. Why he thought you were worth it, I'll never know._

_Your brother never showed you anything but kindness. And you repaid him with blood._

_Your brother died for you, because you are the only blood-family he had left. Why did you let him sacrifice himself for you?_

_Why don't you show the courage he did and go turn yourself in to the League?_

But she said nothing, whether it was from her own lack of courage or her own lack of interest in anything outside of her narrow foci of continuing Oliver's crusade and destroying the financial underpinnings of both Malcolm Merlyn and the League of Assassins. 

Oliver might not have been willing to face the truth, but as a woman, Felicity saw the movements, the attitudes, that told her whatever her personal feelings for Thea, and despite what Oliver had so desperately desired to believe, Thea was living just as much of a double-life as Oliver had been.

And chances were good that it was not as benevolent.

Misfortune changes a person as surely as fortune does, and whether that change is for the better or the worse depends purely on the person.

Some grow stronger because of it. Some grow the determination to do good in this world.

And others... simply break.

Felicity was willing to leave Thea alone, to lick her wounds in private and allow her to do the same, as long as their paths did not cross.

But God help her if they ever did.

 

***********

"Roy, I'll have that done for you in two ticks," Felicity called over her shoulder as she heard the sound of footsteps, her fingers dancing over her keyboards.

When there was no reply, she turned and found Thea staring.

"Oh, my GOD," Thea murmurred, looking around her at the costume, the bow, the arrows. "I never knew."

She turned around, talking to herself. “That's why....” She closed her eyes at memory.

At the mix of clarity and pain, Felicity's anger melted away. For now, it was just two women grieving the loss of a man they had both loved, each in their own way.

Later... well, that was probably going to be a different story.

“It doesn't help.” At Thea's sharp glance, Felicity clarified. “Closing your eyes. It doesn't help. It just lets the nightmare in even more.”

Thea nodded. “I'm... I'm sorry. For whatever it's worth, and I realize it's probably not worth a lot.”

“Circumstances have left it rather hard to be friends,” Felicity confirmed.

Thea nodded again. “But... maybe not enemies.”

“Maybe.” Felicity's words were steel, clear warning threaded through each sound.

It was at that moment that her team came back in. They took one look at the situation and immediately stepped in between the two women, Barry taking up a on-guard position at her right hand and slightly in front of her.

Felicity spoke first. “It's all right. You can stand down. We're not going to get into it tonight.” Left unspoken, but implied, was the 'no promises about another day'.

“Thank you,” Thea said abruptly. At the frosty inquiry that filled the air, she clarified. “For... for caring about my brother. When I couldn't.”

She turned and made her way up the stairs.

When she was gone, Barry turned to Felicity. “You okay?”

“I don't know.” she replied. “I thought I hated her... after everything. But now... I just don't know.” She turned and walked back to her computers.

He watched her go, a thoughtful expression on his face.

No-one saw the movement, a slight rolling of an arrow that Roy had left out on the back table. Barry shivered as a sudden wave of cold passed through him.

“Oliver?” he asked quietly. It would definitely fit into the category of 'impossible', but... then, so was he, so what was really impossible anyway? “Are you there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### This work is a companion piece to my series 'Widow's Weeds'.
> 
> ##### This part takes place during Part III.5 - 'Interlude in the Underworld'.
> 
> ##### -B!


	5. Enter Speedy, Stage Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ##### Thea makes Team Arrow a deal it doesn't refuse, tho' for the life of her, Felicity can't figure out why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _His sister wasn't called Speedy only for how quick she was to chase him, she could talk a mile a minute._
> 
> ##### -we keep all our promises - sarcasticfina
> 
> _"Oh, my GOD," Thea murmurred, looking around her at the costume, the bow, the arrows. "I never knew."_
> 
> ##### – In a Heartbeat – What do we do with a woman like our Thea? - BardicRaven

A few days later, Thea came back, moving hesitantly, as if knowing she was only there on sufferance.

“Felicity?” she said softly.

Felicity jumped, whirled, a small crossbow in her hand. She’d started keeping a weapon at her desk at Diggle's insistence. 

Thea stood still, waiting for Felicity to recognize her.

“What do you want?” Felicity said sharply, not putting the weapon down.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?” Felicity asked suspiciously, the bolt not moving an inch from its target.

“I know you won't believe me, but I've... I've come to ask you if I could join your team.” At Felicity's _'you've got to be kidding me'_ look, she continued, hurriedly. “With... with the training I got from Malcolm, I know how to fight. I'm fast. I'm strong. I don't... normally... use a bow,” Felicity's mouth tightened, remembering the one time she had, “but I could pick it up again. Or use a crossbow, like you. Or...”

“Why should we trust you?” Felicity asked harshly. “You're the reason we're in this mess. You lied to Oliver, to all of us, let us go on thinking you were an innocent, when in reality, you were Malcolm Merlyn's little trained... assassin.” It obviously wasn't the word she meant, and Thea's eyes flashed.

“I know you have little reason to trust me,” she said with forced calm. “I know I've said that I've turned my back on Malcolm before. But after this...” She shook her head. “And after seeing that Oliver...” She took a breath, swallowed hard, “after seeing that Oliver was the Arrow, I just... I just want to honor my brother's memory. You can understand that, can't you?”

“I can understand it. I just don't know if I can believe it.” Felicity said bluntly. “Fortunately for you, it's not up to me. It's Diggle and Roy's call. They're the ones who are going to have to trust you with their backs.”

Thea winced at that, but said nothing.

“If they say 'yes', I'll agree on a provisional basis.” Her voice hardened, her eyes became flint. “But I want to make one thing VERY clear: if you do anything, anything, that causes me to doubt your loyalty, I will kill you myself. Regardless of Oliver and what he would have wanted. He's not here. I am. Do I make myself clear?”

Thea nodded. “Accepted.”

“Good. Roy and Diggle should be back in a couple of hours. I'll call up to the club when they're back. You can talk to them then.”

Thea left, taking that for the dismissal it was.

>>>\----------->

It took some persuasion, but eventually Diggle and Roy agreed to have Thea join the team. There was no question of what her cape-name would be. Tribute and memorial, to the man who'd been dear to them all.

And that is how Team Arrow gained its second, and yet original, Speedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### This bit was originally written as a bit of AU-Goodness that occurred to my brain along my way, as I didn't see how it would fit in with the rest of the story I had planned, but the more I thought, the more I realized that, yes, it does fit in.
> 
> ##### Enjoy! Comments are always welcome and do indeed feed the Muses
> 
> ##### -B!


	6. One Door Closes, Another Opens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Oliver comes back, and Barry goes home.

>>>\----------->

The team fell into a rhythm – of patrol and work, daytime and nighttime. Barry divided his days between Central City and Starling City, managing to do justice (pun intended) to both.

The days passed, and while their grief for Oliver Queen never faded completely, it did recede to tolerable levels.

Life was different with Oliver gone, colder, emptier, but bearable.

And then he came back.

>>>\----------->

Barry came into the courtyard of the Foundry, ready to start another night of patrol and help.

He didn't expect to find Diggle and Roy outside, standing around, uncomfortable and nervous.

To his 'what's up?' look, Diggle replied, “Oliver's back.”

“That's impossible.”

Diggle just looked at him.

“Point taken.” He shrugged. “But how...?”

“We don't know yet. Felicity's with him right now.”

“Oh.”

“I'm sorry, Barry. I know how much she means to you. But...”

“It's okay.” Diggle looked at him with the 'really?' look he'd so often given Oliver when he was busy lying to himself and the rest of the team, but, just as he'd done with Oliver, he kept his peace.

“I'll.. I'll be back,” Barry said. “I need some time.”

Diggle nodded and Barry ran off.

>>>\----------->

When he returned, head clearer, emotion spent in movement, it was to find Oliver, alone, in the Foundry. He was sitting at Felicity's station, clearly lost in thought.

At the small noise of Barry's entrance, he spun, rose, settled into a defensive position, as smooth and swift as thought.

“I see some things haven't changed,” Barry said.

Oliver's eyes narrowed. “I see some have. What are you doing here?”

“Helping Felicity.” At Oliver's murderous expression, he added, “she didn't take news of your death very well. I came to help. As I'd promised.”

Oliver flinched at that, and Barry wondered what promise to Felicity Oliver had broken.

Well, besides the obvious one, anyway.

“You can go home now. I'm back.” Oliver said firmly.

“Yeah. So?” Barry surprised himself with the words. The effect on Oliver was electrifying.

“So. She's mine.” he said, low and dangerous.

Barry felt himself start to get angry. True anger, all his. “Felicity's not some possession you can claim, Oliver. She's a woman. A woman who was badly hurt by you. Why should I stand aside and let you hurt her again?”

“Because...” _I love her. She's the Light to my Darkness. I can't bear to lose her now, not after everything._ But he said none of it. 

“Does Felicity know she's 'yours'?” Sarcasm, hard and heavy, because somewhere, deep inside, Barry already knew the answer to this. It had never occurred to him that this day could come, although considering all the other strange, impossible things that had been happening around him for the last year, perhaps it should have.

“Yes.” Guilty eyes flickered, just enough, and Barry saw the lie behind them. 

“So you are still human,” he commented.

“I have to go back, Barry.”

“What?”

“I have to go back. My business isn't finished.”

“You're going to break her heart again, chasing after... what?”

“Barry. You don't understand....”

“I understand just fine. You're asking Felicity to wait for you, again, put her life on hold for you, again, so you can keep playing your... games.” He surprised himself again, getting in Oliver's personal space, challenging the other man with his presence. “I won't let you hurt her again.”

Oliver stood his ground. “It's not a game, Barry. I have to finish what I started.”

“And to hell with everyone else. But then, that's your way, isn't it, Oliver?” 

“It's _because_ of everyone else,” he snapped. “While the League is out for blood, no-one is safe.”

“What are you really fighting for, Oliver?” Barry asked. “You say it's for the city, but I don't think so.”

“When did you become such an expert?” Oliver snapped.

“I had to do some growing up while you were gone. We all did. Pity you can't say the same.”

Barry stalked off. He didn't know how he'd do it, but he wasn't going to let Felicity get hurt again. He ignored the small voice inside him that said he had lost something infinitely precious tonight and it was not Oliver Queen's friendship.

>>>\----------->

“Barry?” Felicity's voice was soft in the darkness. Her feet crunched over the gravel of the courtyard as she came up to him. 

“What's up, Felicity?” He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice, succeeding only in sounding bone-weary.

Which he was.

Body and soul.

“I thought with Oliver back, you might want to talk.” She paused, looked away. “That we should talk.”

“It's all right, Felicity. I know what you're going to say.”

“Maybe. But I'd like to say it anyway, okay?” Barry shrugged. “You've done more for me over the last few months than anyone has ever done for me before. I wouldn't have made it through without you. You've been a good friend, and I so, so deeply appreciate that.”

“But that's all it is. Friendship.”

“Don't knock it, Barry. Friendship means an awful lot to me.” 

He nodded. “Why do you love Oliver?” he asked, a tinge of hopelessness in his voice that he couldn't quite manage to conceal.

“Why does anyone love anyone?” She reached out, touched his cheek. He flinched, but allowed the caress. “It's like we said before – we'd be perfect for each other. If only we weren't busy longing for people we can never have.”

“I think,” Barry said slowly, “that Oliver might be someone you can have.”

“Maybe. If he figures out who he's really fighting for. Why he's even fighting.” She reached up, kissed him quietly. “And that's something we may never know.”

“Good night, Barry,” she said as she walked off. “And thank you.”

She looked back. “For everything.”

>>>\----------->

When Barry saw Felicity smile, shed quiet tears over a note written in Oliver's hand, he knew his time in Starling was almost done.

When Oliver returned, healthy and whole, Barry knew it was time to go home.

He stopped by the Foundry to tell Felicity that, but she was there with Oliver, going over some bit of Arrow business or other, and Barry found that he just couldn't handle it right now.

He'd explain later.

From his city.

And pray she'd understand.

“You're a good man, Barry,”Diggle said, coming up beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder in brotherly commiseration.

“No. I'm a fool,” he said, shrugging off the hand. “Tell her... tell her I hope she gets her happy ending.”

And Barry ran off into the night.

Diggle watched him go, hoping that Barry was running towards something, someone.

There'd been too much running away by all of them.

For far too long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##### So there you go. The Christmas Gift that kept on giving, neatly tied up just before the next round of Goodness.
> 
> ##### For those keeping track, this takes place during 'Widow's Weeds IV: Reunion' and 'Widow's Weeds V: The Power of Love'.
> 
> ##### To all, Bright Blessings and may you run free.
> 
> ##### -B!

**Author's Note:**

> ##### A YouTube playlist of inspirations for 'In a Heartbeat': https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL99Djnb8oDmhlAy8QctBc5fVrsU3ym4Gf


End file.
